Uniqlooks November: One item, three looks – Ultra-light down vest

Look 1: Down vest – Uniqlo. Mirror dress as top – Christonpher Kane x Topshop. Peg trousers – ASOS White. Heels – Christian Louboutin Corneille. Clutch – JHYoo. Necklace – H&M x MMM

Look 2: Down vest – Uniqlo. Coat – CK (gift from mummy) Cable-braid turtleneck – GAP. Boyfriend jeans – ASOS.

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Booties – Thakoon via The Northernlight blogshop. Bag – Boots – H&M x MMM

Look 3: Down vest – Uniqlo. Neoprene jacket – H&M Trend. Dress – Nikicio. Boots – H&M x MMM. Clutch – Kurt Geiger.

Well, isn’t this awkward, the overall effect of this edit makes me look like a car thief in various stages of the profession. Especially that first outfit with the ridiculous keyring necklace and the inverse-tattoos up my arm, oh and that invisible wrench inside the clutch I’m pawing at. What the batpoop am I wearing? I do apologize, any outfit is a step up from ratty PJs and I think I may have played too much Sims 3 this past weekend. I’m one chess-game away from being level 10 in the criminal career and boy, I can’t wait to be Emperor of evil and make 418 simoleons an hour. So please ignore that one, I’d do something about it but my Photoshop skills don’t exactly include stripping the clothes off and burning it in a barrel trash can. Plus if I had such mad skills I’d be an indespensable talent to humanity, or at least the male bits of it.

Nailpolish – YSL La laque couture 1 (Pop Art)

The ‘I am so sleepy, so so sleepy’ face

Neoprene Jacket – H&M trend. Saddle bag – Warehouse. Contrast-sleeve jumper – Topshop. Quilted orange skirt – Topshop Boutique . Geometric print skirt – YesStyle. Cross-patterned shirt tied around waist – Topshop Unique. Shoes – H&M x MMM. Thank you Kit for helping with the shots!

After these photos were taken we went and had a big healthy breakfast. No, I’m just convinced the sun sets at 7AM in London, how about where you live? My guess is that a few weeks ago our beloved sun happened upon a self-help book from the bookstore discount bin and on reading it experienced a surge of self-worth and decided it really was working too hard. Then I’m sure later it bumped into an old friend at the laundromat and got into a deep conversation on the topic of what’s up, where a bit too much empathy from the friend – one lousy reaction to an awkward encounter – fed to the sun’s new-found seething for the world and its ungratefulness. And on its way home tripped on loose brick and dropped all the fresh laundry in a bus stop puddle, at which point it goes SCREW THIS I’M GOING TO SLEEP FOR 6 MONTHS. Occasionally it gets up and goes to the bathroom, which is when we have some light outside, for about 15 minutes.

But that’s just my guess.

DIY Scarf-print kaftan dress, a collaboration project with Styleslicker

Head on here to see the complete tutorial

Kaftan dress – Park & Cube x Styleslicker DIY. Nude shoes – Zara. Bag – Bottega Veneta. Watch – GUESS Rose gold

I realised the only time Kit and I join hands to collaborate is when we’re both hunched over her bowl of phô fishing out red meat so I can gobble it up like a bear. We’re also DIY enthusiasts and happen to share the opinion that if you need glue-gun to attach fabric onto fabric then it’s not DIY – it’s pre-school craft, and don’t get us started with stapling shit to shit. She’s a trained pattern cutter with ninja scissor skills, I’m a webdesigner sensitive to misaligned pixel – in a nutshell we’re both just anal and you wouldn’t want us as mothers or wives (sorry hubz). So we decided to team up to do a few DIY projects that might be educating in terms of garment construction and produce end-results that you might actually wear more than once. Remember this H&M panther scarf? Turns out there’s a lot more ways to transform it with just a few tools at home – for this one you don’t even need a sewing machine – check out the tutorial here to make your own scarf-print kaftan dress!

Check back often or tune in for the next one!

One piece, Three looks: Uniqlo broadcloth check shirt

Look 1:  Floral jacket, Zara. Checked shirt, Uniqlo. Fluffy skirt, Topshop. Scrunched Navy Pencil Skirt, H&M. Python pumps, Alexandre Birman. Watch, GUESS Rose-gold. Clutch, Chanel

Look 2: Moto-jacket raincoat, H&M Trend. Checked shirt, Uniqlo. Shirt as skirt, vintage via Beyond Retro. Platform Booties, Chloe Sevigny x Opening Ceremony. Bag, Topshop

Look 3: Candy Bag, Furla. Clear pumps, Chloe. Check skirt, Paul & Joe Sister

Yup, it’s that time of the month and I have here for you three dodgy ways to wear a picnic blanket (Uniqlo broadcloth check shirt). In fact it’s so perfectly gingham that if ever we play hide and seek in the park I promise you’ll never know where to find me while all that time I’ll have been right under your nose scrunched up next to the lemonade and sandwiches. What can I say, one of my many talents.

Collecting goods at Vestiaire Collective

Bikerjacket style raincoat, H&M Trend. Dress, Casson London. Python-print Bag, Marc by Marc Jacobs. Shoes, Alexander Wang. Belt, Louis Vuitton; both via Vestiaire Collective

So we’ve established that I don’t even wake up for the fire alarm nowadays, but there was a time – before the dentures – when I’d jolt up a the sound of DOINK from an auction page at dead-hour and basically I’d have about 18 minutes to scramble out of bed and judge whether I’m willing to bid over £11 on a glitchy Playboy Colour. Fast forward a few years later and I’d have all kinds of tricks up my sleeves (i.e search for ‘Channel’ for neglected ‘Chanel’ mis-spells, or bidding on a pair of Chloé pumps in the last 3 seconds and hearing YOU A-HOLE‘s from bidders across the globe), nobody called me a bucktooth loser back then. YUH. But from a certain point it got really tiresome to constantly dig into the double-digit pages and then the keeping on track of items of questionable quality, so I stopped shopping secondhand clothes/accessories online… until I heard about the peer to peer resale platform Vestiaire Collective. What bought me over initially was the fact that all items are made sure of its genuineness and quality by being sent to Paris where they are checked by a team of experts, but their edits are quite clever too especially for squirrels as indecisive as me. So here’s a few I scored: Alexander Wang Abbey heels from forever seasons ago which now happen to be my favourite go-to black heels (the seller of which happened to be one of my lovely readers!), the LV black classic belt and a Jessica Barensfield hammered initials bangle which is part of one of their mini-series. And of course, that designer heels you’ve been saving only for ‘special occasions’ – those impossible-to-walk-in ones, you sure ain’t profiting from cost-per-wear by letting it gather dust on the DVD shelf so you might as well sign up and sell that one off for a piece that’ll be worn more than that one time it came out of the packaging. (yes I’m looking at you, self)