REBIRTH: the only word that truly represents St. Regis Maldives Vommuli Resort – not so much in the sense that you become a balmier and better version of yourself, revived after a period of existential crisis – although that definition could work too. I mean it literally, the phenomenon of returning to a blissful time when you could rely on a respectable adult to attend to your every whim (mama? papa?), much like the personalised butler you’re assigned at St. Regis Maldives who’s ready to arrange and organise every aspect of your life for you. Because he knows you’re a mess and he’s basically written The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying (someone’s life, for 2 weeks) before Marie Kondo even thought about vacuuming.

Jumping on the seaplane, minuscule specks transform into 77 vast villas and 6 restaurants as we approach the resort engulfed in a stream of startling sunlight hugging peak roofed beach villas and infinity pools. Notes of cream and cobalt decorate the resort’s soothing interiors. Soothing is a word invented for St. Regis Maldives, from the buttery warm sea breeze, to the check-in that does NOT require awkward feet-shifting at a reception desk as a ponytailed staff tries copying down your married (Polish, mind) name.

The setting transports you to a futuristic marine-inspired universe, surrounded by huts in the form of stingrays and a restaurant shaped like a giant octopus. It’s like a hyper-modern Sea World for grown-ups (this I love – the resort is catered to families but really designed for designer ‘getaways’, if you get my drift) There’s an acute focus on sea life, nature and an eco-conscious aesthetic home to St. Regis Maldives as opposed to the overused ‘Robinson Crusoe luxury escape’ theme so commonly associated with the Maldives. Casual activities include chasing turtles around in the tropical waters and spotting reef sharks and stingrays, unlike other Maldivian hideouts that have been severely suffering coral bleaching in the past few years.

In fact, it’s the smaller details that make St. Regis Maldives stand out from the rest: wooden ceilings incorporating traditional Maldivian craftsmanship, coral chandeliers and headboards made of recycled glasses beads that sparkle in the natural sunlight, all streamlined by WOW Architects ׀ Warner Wong touch – not to mention the ‘Island Mary’ bloody Mary served in a nautilus shell and infused with Kala Namak salt.

By day two, we dub the island ‘Neverland’: we NEVER, EVER want to grow up.

Kaftan – Tallulah & Hope

‘Island Mary’ bloody Mary

Jacket – H&M. Skirt – Three Floor (via REVOLVE). Bag – Bally. Leather trousers – Hoss Intropia (similar).

Neoprene jacket – H&M. Skirt – Three Floor (via REVOLVE). Boots – Tibi (via REVOLVE). Bag – Bally. Leather trousers – Hoss Intropia (similar).

Just a quick one today before I rush out to the airport – we’re off to the South of Spain to catch the last of the summer sun, leaving behind a million things that I have no other choice but to trust will pickle* into something agreeable. The flat looks a bit like a scene from Home Alone with the aftermath of fashion month strewn around: crinkled receipts from hurried lunches, stained show invitations, half-drunk Coconut Water cartons… and shoes, shoes everywhere. To top it off, the hubby’s purchased timed-sockets for our lamps so they go on and off every hour after 7pm. No burglar wire dare tackle this obstacle course. Except of course, I’ve just advertised our home security to the internet so none of that matters in the end, I SMART. The plan is to eat, sleep and siesta some more. I might even try braving the water and see where that takes me. Africa, I hope.

Hasta la vista, babies.

BTW, am I the last one in this planet to have discovered REVOLVE? Had a wee discount card lying around and pretty much went crazy browsing through all the US brands that are hard to get here in the UK… Felt like 2008 all over again.

* Pickle = life philosophy.

Photos with the help from Abi!