Bag – Mansur Gavriel. Sunnies – Karen Walker. Swimsuit – ASOS.

Now, let me just preface this by saying that when it comes to sailing, or any somesuch art of being at sea, I know jack-poop. There’s really no better way of putting it. I perhaps vaguely know what a boat is because it sounds like ‘butt’ and Nemo touched it, but other than that all sailing/watercraft terminology goes straight over my head. Regatta still sounds like cheese to me. What I do know however, is that summer on a boat – or simply at sea – is infinitely more fun than not. I mean, you’re basically riding a mobile beach that is most times stocked with food and drinks that mysteriously taste better than on solid ground. You’re also surrounded by what is essentially a colossal pool, where you can play Marco Polo until the captain fishes you out of the water with a rod out of sheer annoyance. And suure, your body is in a hilarious state of ‘what is actually going on with the floor’, but the sun and water combination is glorious, refreshing, even humbling.

Peasant Top – Mango. Sunnies – Karen Walker.

Triangl swimwear

For the better part of the past decade, Mallorca – the largest Spanish Balearic Island in the Mediterranean – had been a chip-as-chips destination, popular amongst the European hen/stag party crowd and bored pensioners, but gems like Port Adriano help shake off this notoriety. Designed by Philippe Starck, think of it as a parking-lot for floating Mustangs and Maserati’s. Think Grace Kelly, or Bond villain – at least those with private superyachts as extension to their evil lair. So, if there’s something you tick off this summer, make it sailing in Mallorca. If only for the excuse of going out to sea and then letting your instructor do all the work, or making friend with someone that happens to own a hot boat (butt?). Flights are still cheap, so it’s really the best of both worlds. Also, be sure to do Hotel Port Adriano for an early-morning spa appointment and then brunch on the terrace – exactly in that order. The view is so spectacular you’ll be digesting banana peels while counting faraway islands. Plus, the hotel runs on an adult-only concept so you may need to hand in your Gameboys at the door, like I had to.

Park & Cube was a guest of Port Adriano. As usual, views and opinion my own. Snaps of me with the help of Abimarvel.

Top – Topshop (similar). White trousers – Zara. Shoes – Birkenstock. Bag – Neri Karra.

‘Come at me, bro’

Sunglasses – Celine Audrey via Sunglasses Shop

Comfortably getting into more punching-fights over the last ham baguette sandwich at Pret because now I have these Celine sunglasses to cover up possible black eye. Round, oversized beauties, that provide instant Audrey-like lady-factor, especially to those who’ve chosen meat sandwich over manners. (Celine Audrey via Sunglasses Shop)

Tile of my loins

Clockwise: Bag – Zac Posen Americana. Watch – Casio. Friendship bracelets – DIY & Lucy Folk. Necklace – Noemi Klein. Sunglasses – Celine Audrey. Bracelet – MyFlashTrash. Nail Polish – Chanel. Skirt – Claudie Pierlot. Lace shirt – MotelRocks. Heels – Alexander Wang. Mini perfume – Marc Jacobs Daisy

Picked up this beautiful, embroidered skirt at the Claudie Pierlot pre-sale over the weekend, the pattern is what I hope my kitchen tiles would look like when we buy a house. I’d happily be a full-time sandwich-maker and better wife if that’s ever case. Speaking of Claudie Pierlot – is it weird that I’ve only recently discovered that they actually have stores in the UK? Here I thought it was to be one of those French treasures (Ladurée being one) limited only to those living in France… The store on South Molton st is packed with goodies, and a little bird tells me the UK sales start on the 12th!

Arden, the illegitimate

Heels – Kurt Geiger

I’m always suspicious of my toys coming to life the minute I leave the room, but it looks like my chairs do it too. My two neon chairs had a child and they called her Arden – those two must have some fiercerelationship because that kid is feisty.

Optical Prime

Preferred eye-makeup for those days when I transform from WTF to OK and remember to draw some eyebrows: Skinny liquid eyeliner (feels like graffiti on your eyelids with a felt-tip pen) and Brow Gel by Eyeko, and Golden Aura eye palette by Topshop.

Hey Missy, you so fine..

Mini Missy – Neri Karra

…you so fine you blow my mind, hey Missy! I met the ever delightful Neri for coffee and cakes at the Rose Bakery at the top of Dover Street Market the other week, and after we’d dusted down carrot cake from our chins she slid a small box over that held this little baby inside. I made this noise similar to a car brake and now I can’t go back to that cafe.

If I were a boy

Skull necklace – Maria Nilsdotter. Bar necklace – Kirsten Goss Urban Edge. Watch – Casio Sheen. Leather laptop case – Scotch & Soda.

If I were a boy, I’d put Jennifer Lawrence as my phone wallpaper and not get weird stares from strangers. My affinity for silver accessories/jewellery is growing with each time I steal something out of my husband’s wardrobe. You got to agree, an oversized shirt and nothing on your wrist but a solid silver watch sounds pretty liberating when you’re on your period and everything is simply arduous.

Souk style

Flats – Reiss

Gazing at Kit’s Morocco visual diary and realizing this is as close to a non-IKEA carpet I will ever walk on this year.

Iconia A1

Pouch – Kurt Geiger. Tablet – Acer Iconia A1

At just over 8 inches long, this little tablet by Acer seems to find its way into any otherwise inadequately sized handbag I own these days. I’m building quite a large collection of magazines – dust-free, naturally – via Play Magazines, and have downloaded my entire summer reading list into this 1cm-thick thing. Jamie Oliver teaches me how to cook meals under 20 minutes while I burn some water, and my bank app constantly reminds me how much money I don’t have. The device processor is quad-core, which apparently means it’s responsive and runs smoothly, but I love it most for its compact size and the fact that it is a digital Mary Poppins’ bag, in essence.