Coat – Dagmar. Asymmetrical skirt – Dagmar (stocked at Harrod’s). Shoes – Gianvito Rossi (similar lower price). Bag – Louis Vuitton Vivienne. Cross-ring – Elizabeth & James (via Revolve). Rings – Monica Vinader. Leopard keyring – Charlotte Olympia. Pear & cage Bracelet – Razan Alazzouni. Round bracelet – Monica Vinader

I know the title hints on an impending rant about how I am yet again here to renew my vows to this blog and give yet another go on becoming a better blogger/designer/human being… but fear not, I have fully accepted the fact that I am a kebab-munching, inconsistent internet person with an aversion to showering. Everything else will need to happen around this smelly SpongeBob CubePants. The weather in London has just turned a corner into coldsville and I’m simply enjoying the fact that I can drape a big coat over any old thing and call it an outfit. A bit like shoving dirty laundry under the bed, I suppose, monsters and all. Funny thing with this grey Dagmar number (stocked at houseofdagmar.com) is that it comes with the black knitted gilet so – if I might let you in on a secret – I’m technically wearing nothing but a breeze under this coat. Talk about a new leaf, this one’s turned a whole tree into tart territory…

Also, before you ask why it is I’ve attached a toothbrush onto my glasses, the eye contraption you see in the photos are actually the notorious Google Glass, fitted onto a DVF frame (DVF | Made For Glass). Witness as my life & body molds around this gadget and finally I’ll be able to upload my first video on Youtube with a unique skillset of being able to move my eyeballs completely independent of eachother. Attraction.