I love me. I really do, apparently – I listed all the symptoms into a search bar (Did you mean “Kanye West”?) and took a Buzzfeed test and everything. It’s legit. Dr Google says so. I, Shini Park, love spending time absolutely, completely alone.

With champagne, preferably.

I’ve written, time and time again, that my husband and I are keen observers of the Because-Why-the-Frick-Not day. We’ve done the ‘perfect date’ out, more times accidental than not, for reasons including but not limited to: the fact that there is sink full of dirty dishes at home and none of us remembers whose turn it is to clean, when the #Brexit landlady announces she would visit sometime during the day, or that time when I found a £5 note in an old coat and thought I’d treat us to a three-course dinner, a movie and some very expensive lingerie. Point is, we don’t need a reason to dig out champagnes flutes – every time I wear socks that match is a happy un-birthday, every time his spreadsheet runs without errors that’s a #MoetMoment. We are very happy. And highly cynical.

#MoetChandon

Bustier – ASOS. Skirt – Baum & Pferdgaten. Heels – Prada. Sofa – Sofa & Chair Company.

Moët Rosé Impérial ‘Emoëticons’

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What we also are, are a pair of hardcore introverts. Ones that can only charge batteries by being completely alone in a quiet room, surrounded ideally by inanimate objects, preferably also occasionally hugged by a machine with arms made of wood. Do you have anything fun planned for Valentine’s Day? Someone asked me in an email a few weeks ago. Why yes, I do. I took a bottle of Limited edition Moët Rosé Impérial ‘Emoëticons’ to the other room, painted on every surface but my sketchbook, and stuck Moet Stickers (Also available as app in iOS and Android) on my body while screeching to Ciara’s My Body (to the dude’s despair). My best use of a Tuesday in February, maybe EVER.

If you too, for a large part of 2007 and maybe even a slice of 2008, spent most of your waking hours lusting after a canvas tote bag, then come in for a cuddle. We did it, comrade, we started the efficiency revolution! A canvas tote bag wasn’t just a canvas tote bag – it was a political statement (I had one that said ‘Puppies not Politics’), an inflatable magic pocket, a bottomless Mary Poppins/Hermione’s handbag that had undergone an Undetectable Extension Charm. There were months when I exclusively carried a tote bag, keys and coins jangling under various half-eaten Pret sandwiches, amongst acrylic paint tubes I picked up at the Uni shop. As a ‘flaneur’, it was a must-have item, because the point of it was that it collected evidence of an entire day’s worth of curiosity (knick-knacks).

Fast forward a decade, bag trends have come and gone, all the shapes and sizes. I now mysteriously have enough canvas tote bags to make soup from, but it still stands that none of my bags have proved as practical. I mean, have you tried shoving an aubergine into an Olympia Le Tan book clutch? (Actually, don’t say that on a date.) Enter Smythson, whose pale blue featherweight notebooks I have time and time again poured my heart, ideas and indecipherable scribbles onto, with the new Kingly Tote. The new butter-soft leather bag is an embodiment of their delicate yet resilient stationery, which comes in black or the legendary Nile Blue of the brand’s shopping bags. Stop, drop and roll it up, stick a loaf of bread in there next to your gym clothes (microwave pizza for me), whip it out when the airline nags your about excess luggage weight. Viva la revolucion!

Top – Jaeha. Skirt – Celine

Coat – Joseph. Shoes – Yuul Yie

Coat – Emma Charles. Shoes – Yuul Yie

Dress – Exhibit. Trousers – Joseph. Tote – Smythson Kingly. Heels – Celine.

Top – Finery. Leather trousers – YearOne- (Similar)

Market smarts

Layer a bunch of anemones on top of a freshly baked bread loaf from Pavilion, and finish with a light sprinkling of change. Bacon butty optional.