...to a different domain. Why, what were you thinking? The truth is, I just woke up one day and decided it's time for a change—a metamorphosis, if you will; or, in layman's terms, if Britney can shave her head, then maybe so can I? Nevertheless, it's been a rather handsome 10 years of talking to you, and thank you for putting up with all my moodswings and terrible dad jokes. Fear not! The hormonal imbalance and jokes are more terrible on CUBICLE, see you there.
True story: In August we shot a story for a one-pager print feature (coming to newsstands near you come October – more on that later), which involved a few extra bodies in the studio than usual. You know, stylist, hair & makeup, light people, sandwich people, champagne and massage people…etc, the whole jazz. Halfway through look two, the theme of the shoot was determined: COULD WE TRY AGAIN THIS TIME WITH SHINI’S DAMN LEGS CLOSED, because apparently this harlot kept posing with her legs wide open like it’s peace sign.
But here’s the dealio kids: posing like a d-bag, or Mrs Duke Nukem, makes one feel powerful, confident, brave even. Zalando, you asked me – how does fashion help be who I want me to be? Uncross your legs and look straight in the lens – send that glare down the barrel, let it parkour up the internal mirrors and poke the cameraman’s eyes while growling I’VE GOT BALLS OF STEEL. This will genuinely help getting past any insecurities, trust me. You’ll be able to wear anything and feel confident in anywhere. Like Fenty in a ballroom in South of France. Or don’t fit in. Alas, imperfections make the best charm.
creative direction SHINI PARK photography assistance SIMON SCHMIDT
‘Mother used to collect bags’, I remember, as the ceiling momentarily flashes a shade of red as a bus rattles by, catching the first light on a Tuesday morning. ‘Whatever happened to those, I wonder…’. The suite looks somewhat bigger in the morning, warmer. I’d been hoarding the covers again last night, his pillow lays at the far edge of the Queen bed, defeated, out of reach. He doesn’t mind, just like he doesn’t mind that I’m not a morning person. He sets off to explore Hyde Park on a jog as I scramble out of the sheets. When you peel the blinds and crane your neck just right, you can see the dog walkers on Park Lane.
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It’s five past four in the afternoon, and the lobby is blissfully empty, save for a smiley porter in uniform by the revolving doors. There’s a pinch of musky oud on a swash of sweet leathery tang in the air, and a titter escapes from at an early-bird cocktail reunion at the Park Room. The ladies are all wearing the latest encrusted Dior flats. “A pot of Earl Grey please, no milk” I request, as I slide into the deep green couch near the quilted leather walls. I decide against the sachet of sweetener as I overhear bits of sugary gossip between strangers from behind the art deco shelving.
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The caramelized marshmallows give way to a cinnamon-y mash of sweet potato. I make a funny noise and he laughs, gobbling a bite of New York Strip off his fork. We wash it down with an Argentine Red, recommended by the host. “We were born in the wrong century,” I surmise, and proceed to painting a picture of The Grosvenor House House in post-war 50’s: teeming with politicians, haughty women of power, and affable families, using a bit of the cheesecake dessert to describe the Dior two-piece I’d have worn to dinner at the JW Steakhouse.
Art and history is second nature to JW Marriott Grosvenor House , opened in 1929 for the very purpose of tailoring to a grand scale. The hotel boasts some 500 bedrooms and a rich portfolio of clients (including the Queen, who is known to have learnt to skate in the ice rink – now the Great Room). Conversation with Christie’s is a series of inspiring and informative features, along with global events across the JW Marriott properties showcasing some of rarest treasures, in collaboration with Christie’s, world-renowned art collectors and auction-house based out of Rockerfeller Plaza, New York. September 5th, we met the teams at the inaugural event in London, and shot this story around the art of appraisal of an iconic vintage Hermes bag, in a cheeky daydream re-enactment of The Grosvenor House in the glorious 50’s.
You know what they say, if you’ve done a round of Scrabble, it’s time for some Charades and beers. Then Karaoke. Then more beers. A plate of quesadilla too if you can distinguish pan from pot. If not, just toss everything into a bucket of KFC Assorted Wings and eat it with a ladle, it all looks the same when it comes out as chunks later. Who says that? I don’t know, probably somebody famous, and fabulous. Somebody last Friday night maybe, who may or may not have had one too many glasses of boxed wine, who sang Swan Princess until the cops showed up at the door. DEREK! YOU AND I WERE MEANT TO BE…
…it took exactly one year and two months to muster up the courage to put this up here for you to see.
I digress. Ladies and gentlefolk, welcome to the charades and karaoke part of the night. Everything is downhill from here. If you’ve been following this blog for the past eight years, you know I’ve shuffled a LOT of shameless face cards and tiled many a Scrabble board with bad grammar and nonsensical rants. It was only time that we moved the party onto the singing and dancing part*.
UNLOCK • Watch the full video below
In all frankness, it took exactly one year and two months – to the day – to muster up the courage to put this up here for you to see. One rainy Sunday in June 2015, I took two buses to get to the On.Cut studio shack up in Hendon, and within about 20 minutes of warm-up** and a packet of Cheesy Dorito’s, we got to recording. At Emarr at the helm, song practically wrote itself. Jam mixed it on the spot. Ten days later we shot the video under an incredibly menstrual July sky and amidst a field of lavender. I could barely remember the words.
It’s not a Billboard topper, heck, it’s shower singing at best, but it’s a small dream come true. Thanks are due to Cartier’s relentless support, to my assistant Simon (who judges Rihanna yet curiously reserves comments on my wailing) and to hidden talents like Emarr & Jam… here’s Unlock.***
* More on Snapchat (ID Sparkncube) and Instagram Stories
** Basically yelling ‘WOW. WOW. WAW. WAAAW’ until the dudes say that’s not really a thing.
*** On hindsight, let’s all pretend that blue smoke grenade is a gassy Pokemon in the wild, and not a hipster filming gimmick that I thought was a great idea at the time. AIN’T IT SO 2015.
Dress – Zara. Shirt – ASOS. Hat – Zara (similar).
Dress – Razan Alazzouni
creative direction SHINI PARK photography assistance SIMON SCHMIDT music produced by & MUSICBYJAM video directed by EMARR produced by CUBE COLLECTIVE in collaboration with CARTIER